I was sitting in my bed thinking about how I have learned to set realistic boundaries and I posted this on Facebook. It was one of the few times that the words flew out of my mind, down through my fingers and on to the page:
Setting boundaries - that real protective invisible fence around yourself which allows you to be in charge of how you think and feel and what you do, is quite often not an easy thing for other people to handle especially if you've allowed them to cross those boundaries in the past.
This is especially hard for parents because their key role as a parent is to guide and direct their children. At some point in time the child transitions into an adult and may or may not follow the expectations of the parent. Some parents cannot handle the individuality those boundaries afford a person to obtain.
This also happens in other relationships as well. A friend or partner may have been able to expect certain behaviors from you based on the way you complied with their expectations. If you decide to set healthy boundaries and no longer react to situations like Pavlov's dog, this may unnerve the other person. It may cause that person to place the blame on you for not acting the way you used to.
Boundaries can upset the apple cart but it is the only way to establish your own set of beliefs, behaviors and expectations. Allow yourself to step out from under the control and manipulation of other people and become who you have decided you want to be.
