Yesterday I was disgruntled. Everything anyone did made me mad.
First this. When you have cancer as long as I have, people forget that every day you have death hanging over your head. To them, you are the same person and should act accordingly.
I had surgery on January 17. My insides hurt. I take pain pills. Even if I act like I'm doing well, I cannot do half of what I used to do. Then I get greeted with, "What have you been doing all day while I was working?"
My mind jumps back in time to a day I would go to work at 9 am and get home after 9 pm. Bell to bell is what they call it. Since I was 16 I have worked. Now I am on disability and what I used do in an hour or two may take me a couple days because if I kick it up a notch I won't be able to walk with the pain. But somehow I feel guilty about it because I cannot be all things to all people anymore and I think I am resented for it. Resented for being sick. That makes me sick.
People forget you are sick. You go to the hospital for surgery and no one sends you flowers anymore. You come home. No one brings meals over. I understand, I totally do. It probably seems to them like a never ending saga. "She hasn't died yet?"
Then I browse Facebook. I cannot believe all my liberal friends who posts things about Fox News and then call people names ALL THE TIME. "Tell us how you really feel." Equally annoying is a debate between Bill Nye the Science Guy and Ken Ham the Creationist. No, Ken, "because the Bible tells us so" is not an adequate argument for creationism. Gee Whiz. Try to make sense. Try to marry the science with faith and make it work so it makes sense, please?
Then the whole vaccine debate. People on their soap boxes yelling to the top of their lungs!! You must vaccinate. This from people who are not living with a child with Autism. A child who was perfectly normal until after her 2 year vaccines. Why don't you try to be a little flexible folks? I've changed my opinion from no vaccines to later vaccines and slow vaccines but it seems that's not good enough for the zealots.
And especially such strong opinions from people who do not have enough life experience to have a good, overall opinion. Live a little before you start spewing.
Then there's the adults that for some reason or another choose not to work. They are capable of working but there is always some excuse. "I've got too much on my plate." "I can get money from my family." "I'm depressed." "I cannot afford daycare." Meanwhile there are other people who suffer from their lack of ambition. There is a sucker born everyday. Same goes for the takers in life. If you take and take and take but never give, then you don't deserve an opinion either. Earn the right to have an opinion.
Ok. I got it off my chest. Sorry if I stepped on some toes.
