On Monday, June 9, 2014 I will head up to Mayo Clinic in Rochester for my six week check up with Dr. Francis Nichols, the head of Thoracic surgery. This could be the last follow up of all my surgeries this year.
June. This all started in January. I knew it was going to be a long haul. Our plan was laid out in November of last year. I had an abdominal tumor which was causing much pain, intestinal blockage and loss of blood which caused anemia. Also a tumor in my lower left lung and one in my upper right lung. A new tumor was found in my right kidney. They were worried the abdominal one was a recurrence on my reconstructed ureter from January, 2011.
All or nothing is basically what they told me. Why should they go after one tumor when I had others ready to cause problems. Seemed like good advice.
So I had the first surgery in January where they removed 1 1/2 feet of bowel with a baseball sized tumor. Side effect presented itself as irritable bowel syndrome and it was not fun. The good news I started losing some weight and I had some to lose so that made me happy.
Then in February I had the kidney ablation. An interesting fact about this surgery is that in the scheme of things it was the "easiest" procedure, but how I felt?? Not good. I had a cold during it and the recovery just made me feel lousy. I bounced back pretty fast but right after I felt a sense that I could not go under anesthesia again. Then I was supposed to go right back in and do the first of 2 lung surgeries. But instead, I was sick. Flu first. Diarrhea. I called the doc and told him I was in no shape to do the surgery. Then we rescheduled and the next thing I had was a sinus infection so we rescheduled again. The whole month of March I was sick. My friend, Traci Hart commented on FB that I got the award for being sick all the time. She was right. I was sick ALL the time.
Then in April I had a tumor removed from my lower left lung. The weirdest side effect was I kind of lost my voice. I talked with a rasp. A little over a week later I went in for another lung surgery, this time to remove a tumor from my upper right lobe. Instead of just removing the tumor, they took the entire lobe. I have had a very difficult time recovering from this last surgery. I'm dependent on oxygen a lot of the time. I'm winded and cannot do anything. My raspy voice got worse and it wears me out to talk. A load of laundry about wiped me out. I see 100 things that need to be done and I cannot do them. I know I am done with the surgeries but I really cannot heal quickly enough.
So here I am a week into June. That's officially 6 months I have been either in surgery, recovering from surgery, sick or just plain tired. I found a drug that made it all bearable but apparently the prescription was to last me 20 days but I had it done in 12. The prescription said "take 1-2 every 4 hours." I took 2 every 4 hours and had them done 8 days early. So the doc prescribed me something else that really makes me feel uncomfortable in my own skin. I am still in pain so I am trying to supplement with some tylenol or ibuprofen. I can refill the other prescription again tomorrow and you can be sure I'll only take 1 as needed so I never run out until I am ok.
The littlest thing wears me out and I suddenly have great empathy for those people who are dying a slow death. You cannot imagine how it feels to have the you that you know gone. The things you took for granted are not only not easy, but in some ways impossible. I watch others through Facebook go on with their lives. I see pictures of people out to dinner. People at ball games. Gardens and flowers and birds and parks and parades and all I am is a voyeur. I want to DO. I want to be a part of the life I used to live.
So I went to lunch with a couple of old friends the other day and while talking I said it out loud. I've been out of commission for 6 months! Later that day I realized, I am depressed and sad. I cannot help but feel sorry for myself because on top of that it's been 5 years. Five years of drugs and surgeries and more drugs and procedures. I'm tired.
So the goal was to eradicate the cancer completely and my hope is it is over!!! I'm hoping for a miracle!! I appreciate prayers.
So when I go see Dr. Nichols I am hoping for a good report. I also go and see my oncologist, Dr. Okuno (actually his associate.) We will see if all is good.
I think I've drug everyone I know through my cancer journey. I didn't think I would be such a fighter and would be able to beat this thing for as long as i have. I would be so happy to be able to post on Facebook pictures of me and my family doing fun things. Actually, I shouldn't complain because inbetween the really awful stuff, I have been able to do a lot of really fun and exciting things and I am very thankful for that. I am hoping this is just a temporary set back and I can start doing things again. Things like running around and straightening up my house. Tend to my garden, water my flowers, sweep around the pool, wash off the deck. That's all I want to do!!! Normal stuff!!
Thanks for listening and please send some prayers while I'm at Mayo next week.
