Why do you think people do not want to be held accountable? Have you ever experienced when you finally hold someone accountable then they lash out and you become the bad guy? This is apparent in so many situations. At the work place if you come in late or call in sick too much and you are called on it, suddenly the boss is a jerk. You owe someone money and when they ask for it, they are a jerk. You help someone out on numerous occasions but when you need help, they are no where to be found. So if you ask them about it, they will be offended that you asked. Someone you know enables people to be irresponsible but when you mention it, everyone freaks out like you have said something you shouldn't say, diverting attention away from the enabling.
Holding people accountable. But wait. I want everyone to like me so I'll just look the other way and not do anything when people do not hold up their end of the "proverbial bargain." I was a lot this way as a young parent. It was hard for me to discipline my children. I figured I was so cool they'd want to be perfect for me. I never made them clean their rooms or help with chores. I was basically their maid. I did everything. Sometimes things didn't get done because I didn't have it in me to do it all and I didn't have it in me to expect someone else to help. They have apologized for not helping more now that they are grown and see how much work it is.
This is wrong. A friend at Wellspring told me that people want boundaries. People want to know what the expectations for them are. They want to know the minimum expectations. The people who are go getters will try to do better. The people who are slackers will at least do the minimum, and if they don't then they know it and the consequences are their own fault. (but again, they will probably blame the boss for being mean, etc.)
I grew up as a People Pleaser. No one expects me to stand up for myself. I think I've made some people mad by saying, "No, you owe this to me and I will not back off. You have taken advantage of me for years and the advantage taking ends now." Boy, not want people who used to be able to talk you out of things want to hear.
I've noticed this among some people. While we were in business people would come in and want us to basically give them things because we were a Christian business. Or play our business off of others to get the best deal. People playing the "christian card" too much. I usually bent to their demands because I truly wanted their business and I wanted them to like us. Also when pastors get away with stuff because their flock cannot question the shepherd of the flock. It is too much. What it amounts to is people getting away with bad behavior. I remember being told "never fire anyone, counsel them out." Baloney!! If they deserve to get fired, fire them!!! Employees coming and going as they please. Not accountable to anyone. Putting their schedules above the needs of the business. Why not? If you are in a situation where you can get away with anything, why not take advantage of it?
That's the question isn't it? Blessed are the people who know they can get away with things but don't because their internal compass doesn't allow them to take advantage of others. That's what you call integrity.
So all those people out there who live their lives taking advantage of others and making excuses for bad behavior, we know it. You are not fooling anyone. We do not respect that part of you. We will respect you when you do at least the minimum standard, not less. More would be great. Don't you want people to think of you as "the person you can count on?"
No comments:
Post a Comment