Love Languages

Today I went to lunch with two of my favorite people, my daughters, Courtney and Chelsea.  We were talking about Love Languages.

What is a Love Language?  It is that thing that rings your bell.  It makes you feel loved.  Some people love getting gifts.  Some people love words of encouragement.  Some people like to spend time with you.  Some people want sexual intimacy.  Some people want help around the house.   Some people like to do things with you like go to a sporting event, or play a game with you.  Some people want admiration.  Some people want respect.

Whatever it is, everyone has one.  For me, I like words of encouragement and help around the house.  All people to say I look pretty, I am smart, I am talented, I am going places, I have it in me, I was a great student, I seemed to really have empathy for people, I am a good teacher, I show people love, I am a good salesperson, I am a quick study.  ANY WORDS that said, "You are special."  Those are the words that make me feel good about myself.

My daughter, Courtney's love language is gifts.  Courtney loves to think about it and to give the perfect gift.  She also really appreciates it when someone gives her a gift that obviously has had some thought put in it.  It makes her feel special to know that you really thought about what would make her happy and then gave her that thoughtful gift.

I think the key to both Courtney and my love language, is that we can spot a fake a mile away.  If someone doesn't give me words of encouragement but then lays them on thick in a card, I grimace knowing that the words are not sincere.  Courtney really doesn't care what the gift is as long as she knows you really tried hard to find that perfect gift.  For her to get a gift that she knows was purchased off the sale rack, bought at a gas station on the way to her party or a gift card with nothing in mind, is not a loving way to show your appreciation for her, it is a way to fulfill your obligation because of the day.

I think it is everyone's obligation to find out what their loved ones love language is and then make an effort to fill their cup with THEIR particular love language.