Tuesday, January 8, 2013

What's taking you so long?

I was driving down the road and the phrase, "What's taking you so long?" came to mind.  I start thinking about who I might say that to.  There are so many instances in and around my life that I could say, "WHAT'S TAKING YOU SO LONG?"

There's a scene in Sex and the City where Carrie awkwardly has lunch with her boyfriend's ex-wife because he, Aleksandr Petrovsky,  got held up at work.  Juliette (Petrovsky's ex) said if she heard "as soon as" one more time.......she shakes her head....Meanwhile, Carrie is in France living in a gorgeous hotel.  She should be happy, but Petrovsky is always busy with his work and often leaves Carrie alone for hours on end.  Carrie is hurt but Alek keeps telling her, "as soon as my museum opening, then we will have time together......."

Finally (what took her so long)? Carrie says NO.  Not "as soon as............"  If it works here is the Youtube of the scene when Carrie finally has enough.

<iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/q0bgy7T_Scs" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

After watching the whole series, you finally see Carrie sticking up for herself.  She has had enough.  She is taking her life into her own hands.

I see it everyday.

I dated someone once who was unemployed when we started dating.  He had gone through a rough patch but had an excellent resume and would be an asset to any firm.  I encouraged him to go get a job. Days turned into weeks.  Weeks turned into months.  It got to the point where I was thinking and finally SAYING, "what's taking so long?"  First he had to update his resume.  That took months.  Then when he finally got his resume up to date I encouraged him to send some out.  In this day and age you simply attach it to an application online and they have it right now, in their inbox.  Well, he wanted to hand deliver them.  He thought it would give it a more personal touch.  He could shake their hand, look them in the eye and make a fantastic impression.  That was all well and good, in theory.  However, reality didn't look anything like that and he didn't go distribute his resume personally.  He simply did nothing.  My question was, "What's taking so long?"

Two people went to school.  Both for the same profession.  One did better than the other.  But the one who did better never got a job.  The other one has had two jobs in the profession they schooled for.  It's been almost two years.  The one who works in that profession started with an over night shift.  She paid her dues for a few months and then with her experience was able to get another job with good hours.  There is always an excuse made by the person who did well in school.  My question to them is, "What's taking you so long?"

Ok, easy for me to say, right?  Carrie?  What took you so long?  Friends?  What takes you so long?  Why do you allow yourself to be stuck?  Kelly?  What is taking you so long?

Since my cancer diagnosis, I have been living my life waiting for the other shoe to drop.  I don't make any major decisions because I don't know what the future holds.  Do I make this decision only to get sick and die?  Have I wasted valuable time by stepping forth and DOING?

After all my chemo and surgeries, I thought I had beaten the cancer.  I went to Drake and enrolled in a Masters Level Psychology course. I was so excited.  It wasn't a month into the semester that my CT scan came back with not good news.  Cancer is back and growing.  I had to go back on chemo.  I was so overwhelmed by the whole thing, I contacted my professor and they graciously let me drop the class with a full refund.  I don't regret that decision but it signifies my state of mind.  I need to take the easy way.  I cannot give my precious energy to anything but the fight against my cancer.

So you tell me?  Am I living?  Does my lack of planning for my future mean that I am waiting to die?  I do a lot of things.  I travel.  I try to eat healthy.  But I don't really live.  I exist.  I love spending time with my children and grandchildren but sometimes I'd rather veg.  I'd like to have peace and quiet.

I've enrolled in Alpha.  I think I am trying.  Somedays I am not content with my life.  As in a prior post I think I cover my eyes so I don't see what is right in front of me.  Do I step out and do or do I settle for the status quo?  No one would fault me for living my life as is.  It's comfortable.  I don't have to do anything really.  But am I happy?  Am I satisfied?  What's taking me so long?

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