My mother is one of four siblings. She is the oldest, then there was Glennys, then a few years passed and there were two more. My grandparents called them The Girls and The Kids.
Glennys was outspoken and funny. She was the life of the party. She was also extremely artistic. She could paint and play instruments and sing. We got together with them all the time when I was growing up. In fact, Glennys' daughter, Brynn was the one who went to Europe with me in September, 2012. Glennys was diagnosed with cancer probably in 1970. She died on Thanksgiving Day 1975. I had just turned 16. Now looking back and knowing she had cancer, I wonder if that is why she was so outspoken? Something about getting a disease changes you. I don't suppose everyone changes in the same way but I can see myself in her sometimes.
My children are embarrassed by some of my behavior. For instance, the other day I was looking for a dishwasher. I walked through the appliance department to the clearance center. I walked past two men, one wearing a name tag. I came back and was looking, I turned and looked straight at them. (I was a little perturbed that they had not acknowledged me and I was the only customer in the department.) One guy finally looked up and said, "Hello, how are you today?" I said, "Good!! You spoke to me!! I have some questions." We talked about brands and then I said, "I apologize for being rude but I've been in sales for years and I hate it when I am ignored." (I also hate to be hounded but a simple "hi" let's me know they know I am there.......it gives me identity and I will buy from the person who gives me identity without overkill.)
I am very outspoken. I was talking to a friend day before yesterday and we were reminiscing about a mutual friend who had been cheated on by her husband, divorced, remarried, lost custody of her kids because of the new husband, was diagnosed with cancer and died. NOT FAIR!! She said every time she complains about getting older and having to have injections in her knees she thinks of our friend or me. She said, "So many people complain about their lives and when you compare it with others, they have it good." We could just ring people's necks who feel sorry for themselves all the time. So I call people out. I stop a salesperson in their tracks if I am not interested. I've lost my filter. When I was young I was a people pleaser and would NEVER, EVER make waves. Now? Don't give me crappy customer service. I WILL call the manager. Know your product. I don't want to know more about what I am trying to buy then you do. (However, do not knock me over the head with information I do not want........ask me a few questions to make sure you know what is important to me.)
This past week I have had more than my fair share of poor customer service experiences. An exception was Coldwater Creek so I'll give them a shout out!!
Speaking of Coldwater. I bought myself some clothes today. I tend to spoil myself more than I ever have before.
I used to pour all of my time, energy and money into my kids. Now I put a lot of emphasis on taking care of me. At first I felt extremely selfish. Self Centered. But I have had many people who have emphasized to me that it is VERY important to take care of ME. I've got cancer. I need to nurture myself. Treat myself with respect. Reward myself. You've heard the old adage, "Eat, drink and be merry for tomorrow you may die." And it is true. I asked my oncologist at Mayo how much time someone like me with LMS had. He said to me, "Will you be alive tomorrow?" I said, "I don't know." He said, "That's the answer. No one knows if they are going to be alive tomorrow." Then he proceeded to tell me that half the people with my kind of cancer would be dead in 1 1/2 years. Boy, oh boy, how is that for a slap in the face? But then he said, "the other half won't and that could very well be you!" And it has been.
So now I travel as much as I can. I go see friends. I bask in the sun. I went to Europe. I am squeezing my whole life into a short amount of time so I don't miss out on things. If I live a long life then I will be able to say I lived a GREAT life!!! If I don't live a long life I can say I've had a GREAT life!
Now back to Glennys. She shines through her children. Brynn is beautiful, she sings, she's got style and one of the most fantastic Pinterest pages you have ever seen. Jeff is an architect and is an artist like his mom, quiet but loving, too. Jon is sensitive and a wonderful husband and father. Would they have been different had their mother lived. I can say without a doubt yes. The fact she died at 35 and left a 14, a 10 and a 9 year old behind is NOT fair!!!! I've decided life is not fair.
We live and we try to do the best we can. I live and try to be an authentic, honest person. I don't want my life to look like something it is not. When I am gone I hope people will remember me in positive ways even if I tend to be a little outrageous in life!
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