Saturday, March 16, 2013

An outsider can always solve your problems

My daughter, Courtney and I were talking.  There are several things going on around us that we observe and feel that we could solve.  She asked me why it is that she feels she has all the answers and the people living with the problems don't seem to have a clue?  Or if they have a clue, their lack of movement or perceived lack of initiative seems perplexing and questionable to us?

So from a couple of girls who think they have all the answers, here are some general suggestions to everyone in a situation that they cannot seem to get out of.

First thing.  Business advice.  I remember when my mom and I started doing the Christian Retail thing. We would go to convention and pay to get training on how to do it.  We got a lot of advice.  The one that sticks out the most to me was this.  Only stock in your store things that people will buy.  That proved very hard in the beginning.  What do people want?  You've got salesmen from every publisher, music company and gift company telling you to buy their stuff.  At first you buy everything because you don't want to hurt anyone's feelings and then you realize you can't pay the invoices on time and that way of buying goes out the window.  After years of buying and having it all computerized, you could pretty much predict how a certain author's new book would do.  We also realized we couldn't buy based on our taste.  At first we had a lot of florals in the gift gallery.  That was my mom's taste.  Then we had a different buyer and we had lots of lace.  It was an art to let go of personal preferences and stock a variety of things that would appeal to a larger audience.  We had a motto and that was even if we didn't personally believe the way a certain author believed, as long as their basic Christian beliefs were right, then we didn't let denominational differences get in the way.

So what about business in general.  

1.  Advertise.  You must keep in constant contact with your customers.  Especially your good customers.  If they keep coming in and keep buying, keep sending them catalogs and coupons.

2.  Location, location, location.  What once was a good location may not be now.  Make sure you are where your customers will already be.  Now?  In the Des Moines area?  That means near Jordan Creek Towne Center.  A few years ago the mall wasn't there.  Now everything is there.

3.  Give exceptional customer service.  A recent review of the worst customer service companies placed Walmart as the worst.  If you cannot discount your merchandise to compete with Walmart, than you maybe should be great at what they don't have.  Customer service!

Now advice on job hunting.  In 2008 we had a major collapse in our economy.  Many people are out of jobs.  I've heard stories of men and women who went from senior management to doing whatever they could to earn a paycheck.  Unfortunately, there are a lot of proud people out there.  People who will not "settle" for something beneath them.  So even if the economy turns, when applying for a job, the interviewer might ask what they've been doing these last months and years.  I guarantee the person who tells them they were doing anything to put food on the table is the person they will hire over the proud, educated person who would not lower themselves.

Case in point.  In the early 1980s I worked at the busiest restaurant in the state of Iowa.  Chi Chi's rocked the corner of 22nd Street and University in West Des Moines.  Busy ALL the time.  A new company bought us and their Vice President was a very dynamic up and coming restauranteur.  I wanted management and I let the VP know it.  He would talk with me and I would let him know that I wanted to move up.  I tried very hard to be the best at what I did so I could become an assistant manager.  There were others who wanted management as well.  Two men in particular were very interested so he asked me what I knew about them.  The thing he confided in me was his hesitation in hiring them due to lapses in their job history.  He felt he couldn't trust his restaurants to people who didn't CONSISTENTLY work.  I didn't realize it back then but I do now.  Your window of opportunity to work your way up and make something of yourself is a pretty small one.  If you stop and start and stop and start and do not humble yourself by starting at the bottom and working your way up, you may miss it all together and find yourself older and unemployable.  So the key is, don't be too proud to do anything.  Get in at the bottom and show them what you can do.  Before you know it you've made a career out of it.

Next, don't make decisions based on fear.  A month or so ago I wrote about my fear of falling over dead from a sudden cardiac arrest.  My cardiologist reminded me that living in fear was not a way to live.  It made me paralyzed to move forward.  Every decision I made was based around this fear.

I see other people doing the same thing.  "I cannot see the future so if I make this decision and it is the wrong one then I will regret it."  So they don't make the decision.  Or they put the brakes on the decision.  We've all heard the adage, "hind sight is 20/20."  That is very true.  In fact, I am such a believer in this that there have been so many times that I have told myself, "if I knew this was going to happen, I would have never made that decision."  But maybe that is the way it is supposed to be.  If all of us sat paralyzed, afraid to make a stupid choice, some of the most wonderful and rewarding things would not happen to us.  My mom had built a little business in California in 1966-68.  She was very happy.  My dad got orders to Bellevue, Nebraska and my mother did NOT want to go.  The company was small enough that she could call the president.  She did and the president told her to go where her husband was stationed with a happy heart.  My mother went (probably begrudgingly) and built a huge business in the midwest.  She was the top person in all of Nebraska and Iowa and South Dakota and Minnesota and Wisconsin and Illinois.  She had the whole midwest.  She could have stayed with her little group in California and never known the difference.  But she went and great things happened.  It's hard to look past today and see the future.  It's hard to look past ourselves and see what our decisions will ultimately do to those around us.  Sometimes we have to take a step of faith and think, "well, if this doesn't work out I can always make another move down the road."  That is better than staying in your comfort zone and not trying and living to regret your indecision.  If you cannot make a decision, find a mature person with whom you can confide in.  If you ask your best friends, they will support you for being you.  Sometimes close people cannot look past the here and now either.  Find a stable, mature person whom you trust if you need a push to stay or to go. (Like the president of my mom's company.)

Lastly.  Relationships.  So many people live in a constant state of turmoil. Sometimes the dysfunction becomes all too encompassing and the people involved can't seem to get themselves out.  We, looking in can see the problems and cannot understand how months and years can go by without any resolution to problems.  My simplified advice is this.  If you need help, get it.  If you get help from people other than professionals, make sure to reciprocate by doing for those people as well.  If you become someone who takes and takes and takes, but never gives, you become an emotional vampire.  Get professional help to sort out your emotions.  Give and take.  People will respect you more when you are involved in mutually beneficial relationships.  When you can be relied on to step up to the plate and do your part, then you are on your way out.  Not all relationships are salvageable.  If you find yourself in a friendship or more intimate relationship that doesn't work even though you have tried to make it, decide on a course of action, ask for support from others and then implement the plan.  Like the Footprints poem.  Sometimes you need to be carried.  Allow yourself to be helped.  But work to get better so that you can help others.  Your experiences can often times be just what another person needs to hear to get them through a similar situation.

There, Courtney.  That's me rambling on about business, jobs, decision making and relationships.  I'll bet you have more to say.  In fact, you probably have better things to say.  Because between the two of us, we could surely save people a lot of problems, huh?

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